Good relationships can boost your health

Maintaining good relationships has proven health benefits, not just for our mental wellbeing, but also in more unexpected ways. 

It’s probably not a surprise that cultivating strong bonds with other humans can reduce anxiety and depression, but did you know it can also help strengthen your immune system and maintain healthy blood pressure? The secret to enduring and resilient relationships is not just luck, but a whole lot of effort, on both parts. Here are some key ways to make it work: 

Keep talking  

Being able to say what you need, and listen to what the other person needs, is critical to maintaining a strong relationship. You might think you’ve already got it covered, especially if you’ve been close for a long time, but needs can change, and even the most perceptive person can miss clues about where a friend or partner is really at. Make time and space for proper conversations, share what’s going on for you, be honest and vulnerable, and ask questions of them too.  

Know thyself 

You can’t say what you need if you don’t know. We all have a responsibility to keep tabs on, and take care of, our own emotional wellbeing. It can really help to understand your own triggers or areas where you’re extra sensitive. Being aware of what sets you off means you can recognise when it comes up and try to regulate your emotional response. A 2023 study from Relationships Australia found that 49% of people seeking support for their relationship cited their own mental health as the primary issue affecting their connection. So look after you!  

Accept that you’re human 

Despite best efforts, you’re inevitably going to overreact, lose your temper or make mistakes from time to time. As are the people you love. But acknowledging when you’ve messed up and being able to apologise is really important, for both parties. We all know the powerful impulse to point the finger, but stepping back, looking at an issue from both sides and owning your own part in whatever has happened will help you reach a place where you can resolve conflicts more calmly and quickly. 

Have healthy boundaries 

Everyone has their own limits and they look different for each of us. Maybe your friend or partner is a hugger, an over-sharer or a neat freak, and you’re not. Boundaries can be emotional, physical or to do with time, money or social situations. When people recognise and respect what’s manageable for their friend or partner, it makes life a little easier for everyone, and on a deeper level, makes them feel known and valued – which is good news all round. 

Trust is key 

Knowing you’ve got each other’s back and best interests at heart is fundamental. If there are issues around trust, then it’s important to get to the bottom of them early and check whether they are based on the person’s behaviour or your own previous experiences? The good news is that research suggests that trust is a positive cycle. The more people trust someone, the greater commitment they make, the more the trust builds and so on. 

Notice the good stuff 

Seeing the positive things in the people we love, even knowing they have negative traits and behaviours too, makes a world of difference. Tune into what’s wonderful instead of homing in on what you’d change. There will always be something because there is no perfect person – not them, and not you. 

A little means a lot 

The next step from noticing the good things, is to comment on them. Expressing your appreciation on a daily basis is proven to boost the strength of a relationship. Couples who stay together usually have 5 positive interactions for every one negative interaction, so don’t underestimate those small acts of kindness – the little gestures that don’t take much from you but speak volumes to them. 

Make time for fun!  

Don’t let the demands of daily life take over the dynamic of your relationship. Finding time to do things together that make you both happy is not just a ‘nice to have’, it’s an investment in your collective wellbeing and the relationship itself. Activities that lead to laughter and joy trigger the release of mood-boosting, stress-reducing endorphins, which in turn help to strengthen emotional connection.